Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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