party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
