I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
