I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
