At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You brought string cheese to the strip club
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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