I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
