Having a random hookup so left but love u
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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