Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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