Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
