Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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