I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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