this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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