Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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