i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
