Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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