OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
