Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
