The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
