i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
