Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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