Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
