Porn is love you can see.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
