I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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