okay pat passed out under dana's car
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
