he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
