That's intense
if i can run in heels then i can drive
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I supernannyed him into submission
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
