I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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