the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize