i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
