But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
