The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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