i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
