I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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