some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
