Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My ass is underappreciated
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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