Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Farmville is her only friend.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
