Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
