Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
