I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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