This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
