oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
