Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
