I saw his package. It spoke to me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
