He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
