On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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