If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
