At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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