Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
