What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
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I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I need moral support for this bender
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
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He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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