last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
