I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
there is glitter all over my balls
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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