Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
