Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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