so explain again why im purple
no
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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