Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
