sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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