on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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