I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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