Those balls look pretty dangerous.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
