fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize