The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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