Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
