Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
